Wrote this in reply to an email from someone who had received a “cease and desist with your illegal downloading of pirated content belonging to a big company” email. Posted here in case it can be of help to anyone else. Written on my mobile, so it’s just the bare essential steps to take.
- Sims out of your mobile and stick them in the microwave. Turn it up to Sunday roast and hit start.
- Drop your kids off at school and say goodbye. If they’re normal looking / semi intelligent, they’ll be fine, so don’t worry. Let them go. If you haven’t got kids, skip this step – don’t wing it with anyone else’s.
- Dig out your back up passports. It would be easier if you ditched your wife, but hey, not always easy, so if she’s coming, so be it.
- Baseball caps on for the bus journey to a train station you’ve never used before. And off to the nearest port. Cash tickets all the way.
- You’re counting on getting to the continent before the net closes, and by taking a boat and staying away from airports you should make it. Don’t talk to anyone. Even your wife. So many people slip up here.
- Bonjour! Welcome to your new life. Ditch all your credit cards, burn those passports, and hit the streets – you and your wife: prostitution is an equal opportunities employer. And you’ll need a lot of cash and quick: you’ve got a long journey ahead of you and it won’t be cheap.
Nerd Republic salutes you.